Yay! I am at 12 weeks! I can't believe that it has been 3 months already! I still haven't gained any weight but I should start showing soon. I promise I am eating a ton! I am feeling a lot better, not as nauseous or tired. I am getting some headaches now, but I can handle that. My next midwife appointment is on Monday. I ordered a Fetal Doppler off Amazon.com and I am patiently waiting for it's arrival from UPS today. I can't wait to hear my baby's heartbeat again!
We got home yesterday from all of our holiday travels. We enjoyed time with my family in St. Louis and with Jeff's family in Springfield. My cousin Maggie bought the baby an adorable bib from her study abroad in Rome. We also got two board books from Jeff's grandparents. Jeff's brother Mitchell decided to temporarily name the baby "Pat". Pat got to go on two roller coaster rides at Silver Dollar City. Pat loved the roller coasters and also wanted a mint-chip waffle cone for dinner. Yummy :)
Here is what is going on at 12 weeks:
"The most dramatic development this week: reflexes. Your baby's fingers will soon begin to open and close, his toes will curl, his eye muscles will clench, and his mouth will make sucking movements. In fact, if you prod your abdomen, your baby will squirm in response, although you won't be able to feel it. His intestines, which have grown so fast that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into his abdominal cavity about now, and his kidneys will begin excreting urine into his bladder.
Meanwhile, nerve cells are multiplying rapidly, and in your baby's brain, synapses are forming furiously. His face looks unquestionably human: His eyes have moved from the sides to the front of his head, and his ears are right where they should be."
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Dream
Dear sweet baby,
Last night I had my first dream about you. In my dream the hospital called me to say that you were ready and to come get you. I was so excited, I couldn't wait to see you. When I got there you were a boy with fiery red hair. My uncle does have red hair so I guess this could be possible. :) We had named you Levi and you were amazing and so active, wiggling around in my arms. The doctor said that you had to have medicine for your eye because one eye had turned gray and then they said I couldn't take you home until we paid for your eye treatment, so I had to fool around with the insurance for a while. :p
Well, whether you are a boy or girl, and whatever color hair you have, we can't wait to see you. We love you so much already. You will be perfect for us sweet baby.
Last night I had my first dream about you. In my dream the hospital called me to say that you were ready and to come get you. I was so excited, I couldn't wait to see you. When I got there you were a boy with fiery red hair. My uncle does have red hair so I guess this could be possible. :) We had named you Levi and you were amazing and so active, wiggling around in my arms. The doctor said that you had to have medicine for your eye because one eye had turned gray and then they said I couldn't take you home until we paid for your eye treatment, so I had to fool around with the insurance for a while. :p
Well, whether you are a boy or girl, and whatever color hair you have, we can't wait to see you. We love you so much already. You will be perfect for us sweet baby.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
11 Weeks
"Your baby, just over 1 1/2 inches long and about the size of a lime, is now almost fully formed. Her hands will soon open and close into fists, tiny tooth buds are beginning to appear under her gums, and some of her bones are beginning to harden. She's already busy kicking and stretching, and her tiny movements are so effortless they look like water ballet. These movements will become more frequent as her body grows and becomes more developed and functional. You won't feel your baby's acrobatics for another month or two -- nor will you notice the hiccuping that may be happening now that her diaphragm is forming"
Monday, December 20, 2010
Maternity Clothes
I bought my first two maternity shirts today! No, I am not showing yet. :( But I can't wait! I only bought them because the GAP was having a big sale and I was curious, so I checked out their maternity section. I bought one pink long sleeve shirt and one cute black tank-top. I don't see much of a difference between maternity shirts and regular shirts. It was fun trying to figure it out. I was bundling up shirts to stuff under the maternity shirts to make my future belly. I am thinking that most of my current clothes will last me for quite a while.
I having also been researching cloth diapers. I have several friends that use cloth and it seems like the way to go since I am going to be staying at home. At first Jeff was not excited about the idea, but now that we have talked to 3 or 4 friends that currently use them and say they are totally doable and a big money saver, I think he is on board with the idea. I am asking questions and observing how my friends use them so I can decided on the best brand and style. Believe it or not, there are many different options.
My next appointment is Jan. 2 and I am going to talk to the midwife about having a water birth. I also am so excited to hear the heart beat again! I am still feeling exhausted and nauseous, although the nauseousness has been better the last week. AND by the grace of God, I have had several full nights of sleep! (By full nights I mean waking up just once to pee.)
Yesterday, Jeff and I saw this amazing Christmas performance by the KC Symphony and got to watch our good friend Brooke sing in the Symphony Chorus! It really got me excited again about Christmas. I can't wait to see both of our families over the break. After the performance I made sugar cookies for 6 of our neighbors and Jeff and I went and delivered them and shared our pregnancy news. Jeff finished wrapping presents for our families, so now I just have a few more gifts to make.
One day left of school!
I having also been researching cloth diapers. I have several friends that use cloth and it seems like the way to go since I am going to be staying at home. At first Jeff was not excited about the idea, but now that we have talked to 3 or 4 friends that currently use them and say they are totally doable and a big money saver, I think he is on board with the idea. I am asking questions and observing how my friends use them so I can decided on the best brand and style. Believe it or not, there are many different options.
My next appointment is Jan. 2 and I am going to talk to the midwife about having a water birth. I also am so excited to hear the heart beat again! I am still feeling exhausted and nauseous, although the nauseousness has been better the last week. AND by the grace of God, I have had several full nights of sleep! (By full nights I mean waking up just once to pee.)
Yesterday, Jeff and I saw this amazing Christmas performance by the KC Symphony and got to watch our good friend Brooke sing in the Symphony Chorus! It really got me excited again about Christmas. I can't wait to see both of our families over the break. After the performance I made sugar cookies for 6 of our neighbors and Jeff and I went and delivered them and shared our pregnancy news. Jeff finished wrapping presents for our families, so now I just have a few more gifts to make.
One day left of school!
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Christmas Spirit
Well, I am in the midst of my second pregnancy cold, so I am doubly exhausted. But this morning I have many praises. For one, last night was the first night in weeks that I have gotten decent sleep. I only woke up ONE time, at 3am to go to the bathroom. Hooray! Second, I bought this amazing CD at Cost-Co called "Classic Christmas". It has Christmas music from Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Nat King Cole, Gene Autry, Ella Fitzgerald, Andy Williams... This is my kind of Christmas music. It's what my dad plays at Christmas and it is so good and quality, not like some of the crap they play on the radio now. I listened to it the whole way to work this morning and it really lifted my spirits.
Favorite Christmas songs: "We Need a Little Christmas" (esp. the version from the Muppet Christmas movie) and "Baby it's Cold Outside" and of course my all time favorite (but not on the CD): "Feliz Navidad".
Favorite Christmas songs: "We Need a Little Christmas" (esp. the version from the Muppet Christmas movie) and "Baby it's Cold Outside" and of course my all time favorite (but not on the CD): "Feliz Navidad".
Sunday, December 12, 2010
10 weeks
Today starts 10 weeks!
"Your baby has now completed the most critical portion of his development. This is the beginning of the so-called fetal period, a time when the tissues and organs in his body rapidly grow and mature.
He's swallowing fluid and kicking up a storm. Vital organs — including his kidneys, intestines, brain, and liver (now making red blood cells in place of the disappearing yolk sac) — are in place and starting to function, though they'll continue to develop throughout your pregnancy.
If you could take a peek inside your womb, you'd spot minute details, like tiny nails forming on fingers and toes (no more webbing) and peach-fuzz hair beginning to grow on tender skin.
In other developments: Your baby's limbs can bend now. His hands are flexed at the wrist and meet over his heart, and his feet may be long enough to meet in front of his body. The outline of his spine is clearly visible through translucent skin, and spinal nerves are beginning to stretch out from his spinal cord. Your baby's forehead temporarily bulges with his developing brain and sits very high on his head, which measures half the length of his body. From crown to rump, he's about 1 1/4 inches long. In the coming weeks, your baby will again double in size — to nearly 3 inches."
Baby's now the size of a prune!
He's swallowing fluid and kicking up a storm. Vital organs — including his kidneys, intestines, brain, and liver (now making red blood cells in place of the disappearing yolk sac) — are in place and starting to function, though they'll continue to develop throughout your pregnancy.
If you could take a peek inside your womb, you'd spot minute details, like tiny nails forming on fingers and toes (no more webbing) and peach-fuzz hair beginning to grow on tender skin.
In other developments: Your baby's limbs can bend now. His hands are flexed at the wrist and meet over his heart, and his feet may be long enough to meet in front of his body. The outline of his spine is clearly visible through translucent skin, and spinal nerves are beginning to stretch out from his spinal cord. Your baby's forehead temporarily bulges with his developing brain and sits very high on his head, which measures half the length of his body. From crown to rump, he's about 1 1/4 inches long. In the coming weeks, your baby will again double in size — to nearly 3 inches."
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Ladies Night
Last night I went to my small group and got to tell some of the women that I am pregnant. I have been looking forward to telling them for weeks! These are women who have walked through this journey with me and know my heart's desire for being a mom. It was so good, so rich, talking with them, sharing the story of finding out, sharing joys and fears. At the end of the evening they prayed over me, and it blessed me so much to hear their words of truth. I woke up with such joy in my heart this morning, full of unusual energy, I think because I was so blessed by these women and their presence in my life. I look forward to traveling on this journey with them. I look forward to the days ahead when our children will play and grow together. This is an amazing kind of community and family God has put us in. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
On a random note, this morning I was contemplating my future wardrobe and said in a panic, "Jeff, what am I going to wear this summer!? I mean, do they even make maternity soccer shorts!!"
On a random note, this morning I was contemplating my future wardrobe and said in a panic, "Jeff, what am I going to wear this summer!? I mean, do they even make maternity soccer shorts!!"
Thursday, December 2, 2010
First Prenatal and Ultrasound
On Tuesday we had our first prenatal appointment with the midwife. Jeff and I both really liked her. She said that everything looked great. We weren't sure about the due date. I said that I thought I was only 8 weeks because from charting I know that I have longer cycles (about 35 days instead of 28 days), but from the date of my last period I would be 9 weeks. We also couldn't hear the heartbeat, which is pretty normal at this point, but she said I should get an ultra sound to make sure how far along I am. SO, yesterday we went to get the ultrasound and it was AMAZING! We saw the baby, just a little jelly bean. We saw the heartbeat flickering on the screen and then we got to hear the heartbeat. I was correct about how far along I thought I was. I am now 8 weeks, 4 days and my due date is July 9th. I feel so relieved that the baby has a good heartbeat and is truly in there. It made it seem much more real, especially for Jeff. Here is Jeff's response: "It's like an alien, there is something alive inside of you. What have a done!" :) But really, he was so excited, his face lit up. (On the downside they told me to chug 36 oz of water an hour before the appointment and not go to the bathroom, so I was more like, "great, there's the baby, now hurry up I have to pee!")
Monday, November 29, 2010
Thanksgiving- Telling Jeff's Family!
We told Jeff's family over Thanksgiving Break! It was very exciting. Here are some pictures:
Uncle Mitchell practicing how to hold the baby.
future Grandpa and Grandma
some of the future Great-Grandparents
(I am missing a picture of the other set of Great-Grandparents.)
I am also missing Aunt Paige :(
8 Weeks
The morning sickness has returned. I've felt nauseous most of the past week, morning to night. It is horrible but it does make it feel more real. I have also been extremely tired. Both of these things make it very hard to teach a class of 3rd graders, but luckily I have a well behaved group of kids. It was wonderful to get to rest over Thanksgiving Break. Here is what is going on in my belly this week:
"Webbed fingers and toes are poking out from your baby's hands and feet, his eyelids practically cover his eyes, breathing tubes extend from his throat to the branches of his developing lungs, and his "tail" is just about gone. In his brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. Your baby -about the size of a raspberry- is constantly moving and shifting, though you still can't feel it."
"Webbed fingers and toes are poking out from your baby's hands and feet, his eyelids practically cover his eyes, breathing tubes extend from his throat to the branches of his developing lungs, and his "tail" is just about gone. In his brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. Your baby -about the size of a raspberry- is constantly moving and shifting, though you still can't feel it."
Sunday, November 28, 2010
All Aboard!
Well, I have registered an account and will now be spewing opinions and plenty of mid-twenties angst throughout the internet! Look for intriguing point/counterpoint blogs between Maria and myself in the near future!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
By God's Design (7 weeks)
God is truly amazing to create us like this. Every time I read something about how pregnancy occurs and what is going on in my body now, it absolutely blows my mind. The Lord made us with such intricate detail. What a blessing to be able to embody and experience this miracle.
Psalm 139
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
The Message:
13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day.
"This week's major developments: The nose, mouth, and ears that you'll spend so much time kissing in eight months are beginning to take shape. If you could see into your uterus, you'd find an oversize head and dark spots where your baby's eyes and nostrils are starting to form. His emerging ears are marked by small depressions on the sides of the head, and his arms and legs by protruding buds. His heart is beating about 100 to 160 times a minute — almost twice as fast as yours — and blood is beginning to course through his body. His intestines are developing, and the bud of tissue that will give rise to his lungs has appeared. His pituitary gland is forming, as are the rest of his brain, muscles, and bones. Right now, your baby is a quarter of an inch long, about the size of a sweet pea."
Psalm 139
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
The Message:
13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day.
"This week's major developments: The nose, mouth, and ears that you'll spend so much time kissing in eight months are beginning to take shape. If you could see into your uterus, you'd find an oversize head and dark spots where your baby's eyes and nostrils are starting to form. His emerging ears are marked by small depressions on the sides of the head, and his arms and legs by protruding buds. His heart is beating about 100 to 160 times a minute — almost twice as fast as yours — and blood is beginning to course through his body. His intestines are developing, and the bud of tissue that will give rise to his lungs has appeared. His pituitary gland is forming, as are the rest of his brain, muscles, and bones. Right now, your baby is a quarter of an inch long, about the size of a sweet pea."
6 Week Belly Shot & Telling Maria's Family
I am home sick from school, which is the only reason I have time to write. So let me catch this blog up on the last week. Last Friday morning, before work, I made Jeff take some baseline belly shots for me. I want to remember being skinny and have proof that I did in fact have abs, just in case I never get them back. :)
Me at 6 weeks!!
Then Friday evening we drove to St. Louis to visit my grandpa in the hospital for the weekend. It was a trip of mixed emotions, seeing my grandpa so weak and frail and miserable, but also getting to tell my family the good news. I was hoping that telling my grandpa that he was going to be a great-grandpa would cheer him up a little. I hung up the onesie that I made for him in the hospital room. It was fun to tell the family. My sister cried, my brother got super excited and hugged me over and over again. My dad was very excited to be a grandpa and started trying to figure out how to get a more reliable car so that he could make all those trips up to KC. The rest of my family was thrilled of course. My adorable grandma even told Grandpa's doctor all about it. We told everyone to keep it on the down low since we haven't told Jeff's family yet. I can't wait to tell them over Thanksgiving break! It's so much better to do it in person. It's only a few days away! Here are some pictures of the onesies I made to announce the good news to my sis, bro, dad, and grandparents.
Me at 6 weeks!!
Then Friday evening we drove to St. Louis to visit my grandpa in the hospital for the weekend. It was a trip of mixed emotions, seeing my grandpa so weak and frail and miserable, but also getting to tell my family the good news. I was hoping that telling my grandpa that he was going to be a great-grandpa would cheer him up a little. I hung up the onesie that I made for him in the hospital room. It was fun to tell the family. My sister cried, my brother got super excited and hugged me over and over again. My dad was very excited to be a grandpa and started trying to figure out how to get a more reliable car so that he could make all those trips up to KC. The rest of my family was thrilled of course. My adorable grandma even told Grandpa's doctor all about it. We told everyone to keep it on the down low since we haven't told Jeff's family yet. I can't wait to tell them over Thanksgiving break! It's so much better to do it in person. It's only a few days away! Here are some pictures of the onesies I made to announce the good news to my sis, bro, dad, and grandparents.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Midwife
I won't be opening this blog back up to "the public" until we have had a chance to tell all of our family about me being pregnant. But I do want to continue to record the events of the past week and so forth.
Tuesday I called and made my first prenatal appointment with the midwives for Research Medical Center! My appointment is November 30. I am really excited to use a midwife and hopefully have a natural birth, meaning no drugs. In fact, my hope is to have a water birth. I've seen a few and they look the most comfortable for me and the baby. But I have plenty of time to continue my research. Whatever the birth looks like, I am lucky that there is a hospital (Research Medical) that allows and promotes these options. Our families can rest easy knowing that there are doctors nearby if needed, but hopefully I will be able to have as little interventions as possible. If you are unfamiliar with the reasons for choosing natural births, home births, using a midwife, etc. and the controversy around the current maternity care system, please watch a documentary called "The Business of Being Born". It is very interesting and eye opening. thebusinessofbeingborn.com
We actually rented it from the library and it is also on Netflix.
Also, here are two books that I have read on the subject:
Pushed: The Painful Truth about Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care by Jennifer Block
Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
Here is a link to Research Medical Center:
researchmedicalcenter.com
Here is a link about water birth:
americanpregnancy.org
Tuesday I called and made my first prenatal appointment with the midwives for Research Medical Center! My appointment is November 30. I am really excited to use a midwife and hopefully have a natural birth, meaning no drugs. In fact, my hope is to have a water birth. I've seen a few and they look the most comfortable for me and the baby. But I have plenty of time to continue my research. Whatever the birth looks like, I am lucky that there is a hospital (Research Medical) that allows and promotes these options. Our families can rest easy knowing that there are doctors nearby if needed, but hopefully I will be able to have as little interventions as possible. If you are unfamiliar with the reasons for choosing natural births, home births, using a midwife, etc. and the controversy around the current maternity care system, please watch a documentary called "The Business of Being Born". It is very interesting and eye opening. thebusinessofbeingborn.com
We actually rented it from the library and it is also on Netflix.
Also, here are two books that I have read on the subject:
Pushed: The Painful Truth about Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care by Jennifer Block
Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
Here is a link to Research Medical Center:
researchmedicalcenter.com
Here is a link about water birth:
americanpregnancy.org
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
What a hellish and miraculous week . . .
I need to pause to tell the story of last week. You may have seen the post from Monday of last week, when I took the pregnancy test and it was negative, well here is how the rest of the week went:
Tuesday at school ended with a girl in my class having birthday treats. I was offered a cupcake and thought it polite to eat one. Filled with basically all sugar, as it was, I got a horrible stomach ache which continued though the evening and into the next day. I hardly got any sleep that night, and when I woke I was still feeling nauseous and horrible, but I didn't throw up so I went to school. After school Wednesday I sat though two horrible hours of meetings, just wanting to go home and lay down because I still felt so nauseous, even to the point of having body aches and chills. I was beginning to wonder if I was getting the flu or something. Of course "baby" was always in the back of my mind so I spent some time looking up "what morning sickness feels like". I had forced myself to eat a banana at school that day but I hadn't had much more than that and laid down for the rest of the evening Wednesday, even missing our Corpus group. Thursday I woke up and still hadn't started my period and was still nauseous so I was beginning to get hopeful again and was planning to take another pregnant test Saturday morning if I hadn't started by then. So of course the anxiety of hoping I was pregnant, mixed with intense nausea and a mostly empty stomach, PLUS having to teach my 3rd grade class while feeling this way, was making for quite the week. Did I mention that I also had a scheduled observation Thursday afternoon of my reading lesson by my principal?! I was so glad when the school day was over Thursday. I had actually been praying every time I went to the bathroom that I would not start my period that day before I had my observation because I didn't think I would be able to handle the crushing disappointment and be able to fake my way through a good lesson. So of course, what happens? As soon as I get home from school I go to the bathroom and there is the red tinge that I always get before starting my period. I was crushed! I laid on the couch with my puppies and cried, curled up in a blanket. When Jeff got home he knelt by the couch and hugged me and I just sobbed. I said " I just thought... I just though that maybe, since I have been nauseous all week and my period was so late..."
Fast forward to Friday, I am still feeling sick. My period had yet to actually start, there wasn't even a red tinge anymore. I called Jeff and said "I am taking another pregnancy test when I get home. I am either pregnant or there is something really wrong with me and I need to go to the doctor." He told me to wait until he got home from work. When he got home from work I took the test and watched the little plus sign appear before my eyes! I showed Jeff and he was shocked but excited. I wanted to go and buy another test to make sure but we had already made plans to go on a walk with Stephanie and Eric. We decided not to say anything to them about it, so we went on a long walk just not thinking about it. As soon a we got back I went up to CVS on Main St. and bought another test. What's funny is that they had them locked up so I actually had to get a male security guard to open the case for me. When I got home a took it and it was also positive. I kept it on the kitchen table so we could look at it for days to come. After this we rushed off to meet up with Brooke and Ryan at First Fridays. I told Brooke and we started screaming and hugging and jumping up and down, like silly girls. It was a great evening.
Tuesday at school ended with a girl in my class having birthday treats. I was offered a cupcake and thought it polite to eat one. Filled with basically all sugar, as it was, I got a horrible stomach ache which continued though the evening and into the next day. I hardly got any sleep that night, and when I woke I was still feeling nauseous and horrible, but I didn't throw up so I went to school. After school Wednesday I sat though two horrible hours of meetings, just wanting to go home and lay down because I still felt so nauseous, even to the point of having body aches and chills. I was beginning to wonder if I was getting the flu or something. Of course "baby" was always in the back of my mind so I spent some time looking up "what morning sickness feels like". I had forced myself to eat a banana at school that day but I hadn't had much more than that and laid down for the rest of the evening Wednesday, even missing our Corpus group. Thursday I woke up and still hadn't started my period and was still nauseous so I was beginning to get hopeful again and was planning to take another pregnant test Saturday morning if I hadn't started by then. So of course the anxiety of hoping I was pregnant, mixed with intense nausea and a mostly empty stomach, PLUS having to teach my 3rd grade class while feeling this way, was making for quite the week. Did I mention that I also had a scheduled observation Thursday afternoon of my reading lesson by my principal?! I was so glad when the school day was over Thursday. I had actually been praying every time I went to the bathroom that I would not start my period that day before I had my observation because I didn't think I would be able to handle the crushing disappointment and be able to fake my way through a good lesson. So of course, what happens? As soon as I get home from school I go to the bathroom and there is the red tinge that I always get before starting my period. I was crushed! I laid on the couch with my puppies and cried, curled up in a blanket. When Jeff got home he knelt by the couch and hugged me and I just sobbed. I said " I just thought... I just though that maybe, since I have been nauseous all week and my period was so late..."
Fast forward to Friday, I am still feeling sick. My period had yet to actually start, there wasn't even a red tinge anymore. I called Jeff and said "I am taking another pregnancy test when I get home. I am either pregnant or there is something really wrong with me and I need to go to the doctor." He told me to wait until he got home from work. When he got home from work I took the test and watched the little plus sign appear before my eyes! I showed Jeff and he was shocked but excited. I wanted to go and buy another test to make sure but we had already made plans to go on a walk with Stephanie and Eric. We decided not to say anything to them about it, so we went on a long walk just not thinking about it. As soon a we got back I went up to CVS on Main St. and bought another test. What's funny is that they had them locked up so I actually had to get a male security guard to open the case for me. When I got home a took it and it was also positive. I kept it on the kitchen table so we could look at it for days to come. After this we rushed off to meet up with Brooke and Ryan at First Fridays. I told Brooke and we started screaming and hugging and jumping up and down, like silly girls. It was a great evening.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Stupid Test
Today was a bad day. I am about a week late and so I took a pregnancy test this morning and it was negative, but of course I had gotten my hopes up even though I kept telling myself that I wasn't pregnant. And all night I was waking up having dreams about taking the pregnancy test and it being positive or negative. So I was exhausted by the time I actually got up this morning and did the test. Then I just laid downstairs on the couch in my robe and hardly had the will to get up and go to work. I hate this. I feel like it will never happen.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Beer Bread
Tomorrow I will be making Beer Bread for the Jacob's Well "All Saint's Day Pot Luck". This is a great bread recipe that is soooooo incredibly easy to make. It is especially good with soups.
Here is all it takes:
3 cups self-rising flour
3 Tbs sugar
12 oz beer
Combine flour and sugar.
Pour in the beer slowly and mix.
Pour into greased muffin tins or a loaf pan.
Bake at 350 until browned and crispy on the outside. (Inside will be moist.)
Brush with butter and serve.
Here is all it takes:
3 cups self-rising flour
3 Tbs sugar
12 oz beer
Combine flour and sugar.
Pour in the beer slowly and mix.
Pour into greased muffin tins or a loaf pan.
Bake at 350 until browned and crispy on the outside. (Inside will be moist.)
Brush with butter and serve.
Halloween Cooking
Today I am making Oreo Pumpkin Cheesecakes to take to a friend's bonfire. I hope they taste as good as they look. Mine are in the oven right now.
Here is the site with the recipe: http://thepioneerwoman.com/tasty-kitchen/recipes/desserts/halloween-oreo-pumpkin-cheesecakes/
Here is the site with the recipe: http://thepioneerwoman.com/tasty-kitchen/recipes/desserts/halloween-oreo-pumpkin-cheesecakes/
Friday, October 29, 2010
Today
Today I laid in bed, as I do many mornings, in a half sleep thinking, dreaming about having a son, having a baby in my belly, or adopting. I feel that ache that makes my eyes well up with tears, in so many emotions: excitement, frustration, impatience, joy and worship...
What I know is that I am ready to be a mommy. What I know is that I desire to have morning sickness, to get huge, to be up all night with him. To teach him everyday though amazingly illustrated children's books, kitchen messes, and out in nature, as I imagine Jeff's mom doing with him when he was young and learned about different types of soil at rest stops on family vacations! I know all of this comes with hardships and grief and a complete change in life and identity. I also know that I won't fully understand that until I am in that place, and right now I am grieving in a different way. Right now I am grieving this overwhelming heart's desire to adopt, and yet Jeff does not have that desire. All I can do is pray for God to put it on his heart if we are meant to adopt someday. I am grieving trying to get pregnant for the last 10 months, only to go through a cycle of excitement and hope, to crushing disappointment, every month. I am grieving having to worry that I might never have a huge belly, I might never get to experience the immense joy and pain of childbirth.
BUT You Lord, make beautiful things, and You are making me new everyday, You are making Jeff new everyday, You are preparing us to be parents. You will be faithful as you always are, "Out of chaos life is being found in You".
What I know is that I am ready to be a mommy. What I know is that I desire to have morning sickness, to get huge, to be up all night with him. To teach him everyday though amazingly illustrated children's books, kitchen messes, and out in nature, as I imagine Jeff's mom doing with him when he was young and learned about different types of soil at rest stops on family vacations! I know all of this comes with hardships and grief and a complete change in life and identity. I also know that I won't fully understand that until I am in that place, and right now I am grieving in a different way. Right now I am grieving this overwhelming heart's desire to adopt, and yet Jeff does not have that desire. All I can do is pray for God to put it on his heart if we are meant to adopt someday. I am grieving trying to get pregnant for the last 10 months, only to go through a cycle of excitement and hope, to crushing disappointment, every month. I am grieving having to worry that I might never have a huge belly, I might never get to experience the immense joy and pain of childbirth.
BUT You Lord, make beautiful things, and You are making me new everyday, You are making Jeff new everyday, You are preparing us to be parents. You will be faithful as you always are, "Out of chaos life is being found in You".
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