I have really enjoyed the season of Lent the last couple of years. I have never been in a church that so fully embraces the season. I am so blessed to be a part of Jacob's Well. This community finds incredible ways to worship and push into each season through God's word, music, art, community fasting, sharing a meals, sacred spaces . . .
Last year our "theme" at JW was Lament. This year Lent has started with us asking the questions: Can these dry bones live? and Is the Lord with us?
At our Ash Wednesday service the Lord spoke to me when we read a confession together. Part of it said: "Heavenly Father, we acknowledge and confess that we are more ready to resent than to forgive, more ready to manipulate than to serve . . . more ready to fear than to love, more ready to doubt then to believe . . . Forgive us for distrusting your love, forgive us for not receiving your gift of grace, forgive us our numbness, forgive us our lack of concern, forgive us our denial, forgive us our fear driven choices, forgive us our hidden hate . . . forgive us our inability to let go."
Despite my unending joy at being pregnant, I am feeling called to go into this difficult place and process through my inability and unwillingness to forgive my mom. I am excited to see where God takes me on this journey. I have hope that I will come out on the other end redeemed, healthier, and more prepared to raise my daughter.
"Grace doing what I cannot do, and I cannot ascend to God but He will descend to me."
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