11 months and breastfeeding

Today you are 11 months old.  [sigh]  I have mixed feeling about this.  The other night I burst into tears thinking about you being almost a year old.  I am excited because I love watching you grow and learn and develop.  It exciting to see you get closer to taking your first steps, to see you start to communicate through baby signs and words, to interact with you in new ways.  But it is so bittersweet to approach this milestone.  You won't be a "baby" anymore, you won't need me as much, and what is heaviest on my heart is knowing that our days of nursing will come to an end.  I don't know when and I am in no rush to stop, but my goal was to nurse you at least a year and that time will soon be here.  The 5 times a days that I currently get to hold you in my arms and rest with you, that you are still and quiet and at peace- that frequency will begin to decrease as you start cow's milk, that time and bond that only we share will some day end altogether.  It's amazing to think back to the incredible struggle that breastfeeding was in the beginning of our lives together.  Almost 3 months of pain and tears, frustration and worry.  I thank God for the endurance, for the support, for the encouragement that was given to me in that time that kept me going.  And now it is this easy, comfortable, nourishing time that I completely take for granted.

I know that I will face the "When are you going to wean her?" questions once she is a year old.  That will be annoying.  So I guess I will simply state that the WHO (World Health Organization) recommends breastfeeding at least 2 years and beyond if desired and AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) recommends "one year or longer as mutually desired by mother and infant".  Plus it not just up to me, it's up to Quinn.  If she is done after a year and starting cow's milk, then she is done.  If not, then I won't take that love and nourishment away from her.  And that is not a judgment on anyone else's decisions with their child, this is just my heart.  Luckily when I nervously bought this up with Jeff to get his opinion he nonchalantly said, "I trust you to decide when to stop breastfeeding Quinn."  Thank you husband. I honestly doubt I will nurse past 18 months, but who knows.  In the meantime I know I will have plenty of support from women who have gone before me and faced these new stages.