I will cautiously say that I think breastfeeding is getting better. That being said, it has been a rough three weeks in that aspect, which is basically what my entire day and night consists of. And this is why it is esp. hard- b/c you are facing the challenge every 2 hours. Sometimes it takes 2 hours just to get though a feeding, and at 3AM it's hard to have patience. I've been told by several friends that mine is not the first baby to be cursed at. But it is getting better. Unfortunately there are new challenges that I am facing with breastfeeding now but Quinn and I are working through them and figuring this out together. My house is a mess. EVERYTHING is covered in breast milk. Quinn started sleeping a little longer at night, which is great, but my body has not yet adjusted which equals my boobs becoming engorged and hurting and then when I try to feed her at 3AM I am leaking all over the place- all over her head, the rocking chair, my cloths, etc. It's ridiculous! Breast feeding Quinn also means me being consistently worried about if she is eating enough, if I am producing enough, if I will keep producing enough, etc. She has been very fussy during feedings lately- latching on and getting fussy and pulling away, over and over- or just falling asleep and not eating anymore (hence two hour struggle feedings). So I obsessively Google these things on the internet and find all kinds of "possible" reasons for these issues- I see now that this is NOT healthy for me, but it is oh-so-hard to stop. That has been one frustrating part of this process- everyone says something different, even among Lac. Consultants and Lac. Nurses, etc. I've been told so many different things that my head is spinning. BUT I have backed off from going to so many support groups (I went to 4 in one week) and now I am just going to the one at North KC Hospital. They have been the most helpful and supportive. I will also try to go to the LLL meetings, but they are only once a month- I went to the last meeting and the leaders were also super nice and helpful. Although I have been overwhelmed by conflicting information and advice, it has been wonderful to receive so much support from professionals and friends. It shows how challenging and important breast feeding is. I am proud of Quinn and myself for coming this far with it- and I feel like we are doing it, even if it just by taking it one feeding and one day at a time.
"Everything in life should have a support group. Have hemorrhoids? Go to group. Have a bad haircut? Go talk about it with your group. Breastfeeding support groups are special though because everyone sees your boobs. That’s a level of bonding there that is slightly higher than regular people interactions. So naturally the conversations then goes to sticking your baby in the sun to make him sleep, magical vagina lubrications, farts (both yours and babies), and husbands annoying you. Then guess what? YOU HAVE FRIENDS NOW. LIKE REAL LIFE FRIENDS. I will be breastfeeding through high school so I can keep going to my group."
Maria, I am so so so so sooooo proud of you!! You are so strong and are proving what an incredible mother you are! Quinn is so very blessed to have you as her mom!
ReplyDeleteI will second (or third or fourth) the sentiment that your child is not the first to be cursed at! Those hours in the middle of the night are so very hard. I remember several nights I would have to just lay Chloe down and walk out of the room because I could feel myself squeezing her too hard.
Please know what an incredible INSPIRATION you have been to me! You have shown me that I CAN do this even if it's the hardest thing I will ever do in my life. I will definitely be channeling my inner Maria when this little one gets here and things get really hard. Thank you, Maria!
Lastly, I'm glad you've found a breastfeeding group you like and hope they can continue to encourage you. I think you were wise to narrow it down. Kay Miller is one of my very good friends and I believe she attends the NKCH breastfeeding group. She is wonderful. :)
Hang in there mommy! It will continue to get better!!