For today

Today I rocked you just a little longer.  I held you tight, I nursed you to sleep, I rocked you longer than "needed".  I don't usually do this anymore, for fear of creating bad habits or because of distractions, obligations, my ever growing "to do list".  I confesses my ADD mind, my iPhone addiction, my ever running thoughts.  Forgive me for not always being present, for letting minutes slip by where I'm distracted by the day instead of engaged with you.  I know there is Grace in this and it will always be a struggle to balance my desire to be completely present and engaged with you and also fulfill my responsibilities to care for Jeff, the dogs, our home . . . not to mention the importance of engaging with the Lord and with Jeff and nurturing relationships with friends.  Most days I just feel overwhelmed.  But today you fell asleep so sweetly in my arms and I thought of how my days of nursing you, my days of you falling asleep in my arms, my days of you fitting so perfectly in my lap . . . are all numbered.  So today I notice you chubby toes, I notice the sweet smell of your breath, I notice the dribble of milk on your lip.  I love you.